Oracle of Ybor: I'm thinking about officially marrying my partner

Swords can make us feel boxed in but worry that any step off the path will lead to getting your head chopped off.

click to enlarge When the Seven of Swords appears, we have to ask ourselves if our plan is still working for us. - Photo via New Africa/Adobe
Photo via New Africa/Adobe
When the Seven of Swords appears, we have to ask ourselves if our plan is still working for us.
Dear Oracle,

Should I officially marry my partner?
—Paper Chase

Cards for keeping it as it: Seven of Swords, Ace of Wands, Ace of Cups (all reversed)
Cards for getting hitched: Ten of Pentacles (reversed), Three of Cups (reversed), Three of Pentacles

Dear Paper Chase,

One of the things I like about being a wedding officiant is that in a very real way, it’s casting a spell. I say some words, the couple speaks, they sign their names and poof—they have tied a knot that only a judge can untie. The whole thing can be over in a matter of minutes and, rightfully, some people are weary about that kind of power. Plenty of people have committed a life to one another without that paper and plenty of people have signed that certificate three over only to have each one dissolved.

I get the feeling that you and your partner made a choice not to get married as opposed to just being together for a while and never talking about it. (Because, let’s be honest, after dating for a while, people ask “so…you think you two will get married?” We love a wedding!)

With the Ace of Wands and the Ace of Cups, I wonder if you both came to this decision as a radically conscious act of equality. You two are equal as partners, balanced in power in the relationship. With the Seven of Swords, it might have been a very intellectualized path that, yes, this is the way forward. But, when the Seven of Swords appears, we have to ask ourselves if our plan is still working for us. Swords can make us feel boxed in but worry that any step off the path will lead to getting your head chopped off.

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I don’t think that would be the case if you decided to get married. The Ten of Pentacles is the goal reached after putting in the hard work—as well as the secured family. If you made the decision to not marry because you wanted to work through some things first, I’d say evaluate and see if you’ve reached those goals. The Three of Cups too suggests a harmony in love and friendship, while the Three of Pentacles is a balance of male and female energy plus a card showing everyone is pulling their own weight. If marriage was an end goal for you two at some point, perhaps you’re at that point.

This is, of course, said with the caveat that it only applies if you feel 100% safe and comfortable with your partner. If you’ve avoiding the legal letter because you worry about any type of abuse or the difficulty in leaving them, then fuck the cards, trust your gut, and don’t do it.

But, if this is a safe, secure relationship and marriage is something you’re both open to, why not have that conversation and see how you both feel? It might be fun to do that legally binding love spell.

Dear Oracle,

What will become of my career life?
—Wondering about work

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, Two of Swords (reversed), Three of Wands (reversed), Knight of Pentacles (reversed), Seven of Pentacles

Dear Wondering,

I know that for the majority of people working, their careers are not what they imagined when they were nine years old. Maybe they started out on a surprising path and liked it, maybe they were passionate about something related to their field, or maybe they just stumbled into it.

But for some, their careers are vocations. It’s what they truly believe they are meant to do. It’s a calling.

Without knowing any details about your situation, I’m going in a bit blind, but I would say that with the Wheel of Fortune looming over the spread, you are starting to hear a calling.

I don’t know what your current career looks like, but with the Two of Swords and the Three of Wands, I’d say that you’ve been feeling like you’ve outgrown it mentally for some time now and while you’re grateful for what has come before, your ready for that new journey to start.

I don’t know what career would be best for you because I don’t know your mind, your heart, or your working style. Only you can really judge that. I do think, however, with the Knight of Pentacles, that you want to be in charge of something and to help it grow. This knight is steady and calm in the face of chaos and can see things clearly when others can’t. I’m not sure if this would involve you starting your own business or moving into a leadership role in one you currently have, but you do need a challenge to put your skills to use.

To move forward, the Seven of Pentacles asks you to look at your past. What sort of skills have you gained from your old jobs? How can you share those skills in the future? What have you learned and what do you want to learn? By asking yourself these questions, you might be able to see what kind of career you want to bring your energy into.

But this is not something to just stumble into.

Again, I want to stress the opening card: the Wheel of Fortune. Is there some sort of calling beckoning to you? Is there a dream job that you haven’t allowed yourself to think of for years? What is circling around your heart and your mind?

I know this isn’t a specific answer. (There is no tarot card for “become a cruise director”) but, with callings, a stranger isn’t going to know. Even a psychic can only guess what you keep buried from yourself.

Meditate on all this: the past, your skills, your wants, everything, and listen. What is it that you hear? What's that challenge you want to rise to? I bet there is one already there, floating at the edge of your mind. Look at it dead on. You can handle it.

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Caroline DeBruhl

Caroline DeBruhl is a writer, tarot-reader, and wedding officiant living in Tampa. She follows The Dark Mother, Hekate, a primordial goddess of many things, including crossroads, ghosts, liminal spaces, as well as being the bringer of light.
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